Here at Nerd Junkies, we love our fellow nerds, and encourage all of you to share your gaming/tech thoughts with us. If you would like to write for us, please let us know. Here, we have a fan-based review on Saint’s Row: The Third. If you would like to see the Official Nerd Junkies review of the game, check out the link here.
This is another guest review from MateriaBoy. So feel free to speak up in the comments to let us know if you want to see more from him – Squallmuzza
Having played the previous titles, I find Saints Row The Third to be a more crazy and wacky version of GTA. With GTA, I find myself getting excited about playing it, but once I have played it for a few days I get swiftly bored. However, when I picked up a copy of Saints Row The Third I couldn’t put it down. From buying property to beating people up with a purple rubber cock, the craziness just kept getting better.
It’s the usual story line for SR: start from near ground level and work your way up. With your new companions you must make this city yours by any means possible. From the death of a previous main character, you must take the reins and make the world know who the Saints are. Rivil gangs are here to tear you down and stop you from reaching your goal as they fight for the very same goals. From mad hordes of zombie outbreaks to infiltrating a super computer, there are many ways for you to reclaim the streets of New Port. The question is: how do you want to leave your mark?
Gone are the GTA days of using the basic rocket launchers and dual wilding pistols to cut your way through. SR3 goes higher and beyond the average to blast a niche in the genre. For example, you can unlock Tron-esque weaponry. Basically a sub machine gun but with all the cool blue lines and wild zapping noises. Also predator drones which are pretty much beyond value when dealing with multiple enemies with vehicles.
Save those legs from long sprints and energy wasting with SR3′s huge variety of different types of transport to choose from. From your traditional cars and bikes to a fighter jet with more in common with Optimus Prime than a Spitfire. Certain upgrades in the game allow you to call upon a fellow saint to drive a selected vehicle to you. Just how lazy can you get?
If you have a fear of heights, don’t worry! Just jump off the highest tower and parachute your way back to safety. From planes to cars to boats to bikes to even flying bikes; there is sure to be a mode of transport waiting for you to trail the streets, sky’s or waters of New Port. Also if you are bored with just opening doors and chucking someone out of their car, why not just Chuck Norris them through the windscreen and drive off in style.
There are bundles of different side missions you can do which vary from protecting cars from the side of a helicopter, to killing people in a thunder-dome like arena for cash. There’s plenty of jobs to do, the only problem comes in deciding which to do first.
The presence of Professor Genki, a cat mascot who entertains the residents of New Port with outrageous reality games, is also a treat. Expect a lot of really twisted and tongue-in-cheek humour from that quarter. If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, why not try setting yourself on fire on a quadbike and blaze your way through the streets causing panic and mayhem. (Note: I suggest you do this in game and not in real life – Squallmuzza)
Keeping to a slightly cartoon look, the gameplay feels fun and wacky. As the new GTA 5 approaches I start to wonder if a realistic looking game would be all that fun compared to having a cartoon type feel to a game. That’s not to say everyone is running around with bobbleheads and dropping acme anvils, but the only real grit in the title comes from the storyline itself.
Having the ability to change your characters looks, clothes, voice and victory poses is priceless. Ever wanted to be a women trapped inside a massive body builder man’s body yet have the voice of a zombie? Well here is your chance. There is also an extra game mode added called Whored Mode which feels like COD ZOMBIES but with various twists and random weapon choices. Fighting inside a 50 foot room with your fists that conveniently cause people to explode on impact is a random yet fun way to spend your evening.
This game has no shame when it comes to nudity, sex or even blood shed. Playing a level where you’re sat in a carriage being drawn along by gimps whilst shooting and blowing up other gimp carts brings a slightly weird drug infused feeling to the franchise. Running around naked or face planting old ladies in to the street with a signature smile is one way to brighten your day.
OVER ALL
I give Saints Row: The Third
4/5 PROFESSOR GENKI’S
Crazy, mad and a shed load of fun.
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